- Back to Touhou Mother
Story
This has two versions: the summary and the dialogue, spoken and unchanged.
If you do not understand the references, please refer to Touhou Mother: Miscellaneous for all your reference needs.
Beginning (The summary)
- Reimu Hakurei checks her donation box and (surprise! It's empty) when Marisa Kirisame arrives and informs her that she is bored.
- After going to Yuka's Sunflower Field and bullying Cirno, a meteor falls and Marisa ,being as bored as she was, goes to investigate (leaving Yuka in the dust.)
- The meteor opened up to reveal a new threat to Gensokyo, the Starman.
- After defeating him, Reimu spots a chubby human laying on the ground.
- Not wanting to leave a fellow human (even a chubby one), Marisa decides to fly to the Scarlet Mansion to enlist the help of Patchouli (in the process, leaving a gaping hole in the wall in Patchy's room)
- Patchouli wasn't too happy about the wall, but began to seduce Marisa.
- It didn't work, as Marisa had other things in mind... like figuring out what do with Chubby.
- Marisa, however was suckered into spending some "alone time" with Patchy while Reimu searches for Remilia because Patchy is "worried about her"
- As Reimu reaches for the door handle, Remmy bursts in and crys to save her from Sakuya, who is wearing a strange mask!
- After agreeing to help her, Reimu and Marisa faces off with Sakuya, with Patchouli assisting.
Beginning (The actual Dialogue)
Story Text
One day, in Gensokyo. At the Hakurei Shrine.
- *Reimu checks donation box*
- *Sighs*
- *Marisa runs in*
Marisa
Reimuu! Well, that's unusual. You're actually up already! Seriously, you're turning into Yukari with that super-lazy lifestyle! ...Or maybe it's the other way around? So, uh, Reimu. I wanted to consult your incident radar. Has anything happened recently? *Reimu looks confused*
Marisa
Well, I've got nothing else to do. Just wondering if anything... happened. *Reimu shakes head no*
Marisa
...Nothing. Well, nothing to be worry about. Then we've got some spare time. So, Reimu. ...Um, you want to go to the Sunflower Field? ...Yuka might be doing something interesting.
If Reimu says no
Marisa
Then the game can't proceed. Sheesh, like you're busy with anything!
If Reimu says yes.
Marisa
Ok, it's settled.
*Marisa joins Reimu's party*
*At Sunflower Field*
Marisa
...There she is.
*Walks towards Yuka*
Marisa
Hello! ☆
Yuka
Hah...nothing today, either...
Marisa
Huh?
*Turns around*
Yuka
wh...Marisa?...Haaa...
Marisa
What's up, Yuka?
Yuka
Have you seen Wriggle around?
Marisa
Why do you ask?
Yuka
....I'm pretty sure Wriggle's here somewhere.
*Wriggle Appears*
Yuka
Or at least, I have a feeling...
*Kicks Wriggle Offscreen*
Yuka
I wanna go beat her up. I won't be satisfied knowing there might be someone like her running around.
Marisa
...Ah... I see. ...Sorry, I guess she wasn't very interesting.
Yuka
Hah...I hope she'll show up quickly.
Marisa
Quickly? You mean,like,not you?
*Cirno interrupts*
Cirno
Hooold uuup!
*Pops out of sunflowers* It's me, at your service!
Yuka
...Who asked for you? I'm not looking for fairys. What are you doing here? You'll just make the flowers wilt.
Cirno
You were gonna try to bully Wriggle, weren't you? I am a friend of justice! I cannot simply stand by and watch!
*Yuka stares at Cirno*
Yuka
...Better idea. Forget Wriggle, you'll do.
Cirno
W...What?
Marisa
I'll help! Friends of justice are practically my breakfast! Reimu! You want in on this too,right?
*Reimu agrees*
Cirno
...Now you're just being mean.
*Fights and defeats Cirno*
*Cirno is punched offscreen*
Yuka
Ahahahaha! Thanks! NOW I'm satisfied!
Marisa
...Sorry.She was completely uninteresting. ...Let's go.
*Yuka spots something in the distance*
Yuka
...What's that?
Marisa
W-what?
*Meteor falls and hits Cirno*
Marisa
...That was ...what...? What was that? Something fell out of the sky!
Reimu! Did the Hakurei Border break or what?
*Reimu is puzzled*
Marisa
...This is intriguing...
Yuka
...Well then, let's not waste time.
*Turns*
Marisa
Yuka!
*Yuka slowly runs towards meteor crash site*
Not fast enough!
Marisa
Ah right, of course. ...Well, we can't afford to miss this! Let's go Reimu!
*Runs past Yuka*
Yuka
W-what? Wait for me!
*At meteorite*
Marisa
...So this is that thing that feel from the sky? ...But what is it? ...I don't have the slightest idea. I mean it,ze. *Alien appears*
???
...*whirr* We have found it. A new land. A whole *click* world. ..We will *whirr* take it. For our angel.
*Defeated Starman JR*
Yuka
...F-Finally... I... caught up... W-What was that?
Marisa
...Yuka?! You missed out on all the fun!
*Reimu excitedly points off in the distance*
Marisa What's wrong Reimu?
*Reimu grabs Marisa and turns her toward to where she's pointing at*
Marisa
Eh? ...!
*A chubby, unconscious person is on the ground nearby*
*Touhou mother interlude playing LOG-O-TYPE*
Yuka
I wonder if we should be helping a guy like this... He looked fine lying in the flowers to me.
Marisa
Hey, I'm a human being, y'know. I won't just leave other humans to die. But unless your really, really lucky, I'm not gonna obey your every whim!
*Reimu whispers something*
Marisa
You're kidding me! We have to carry him all the way to the mansion?! Screw that! Hold on tight, 'cause we're doing things my way!
*Flys into the Scarlet Devil mansion, making a hole in Patchouli's room without waking Meiling*
Patchouli
...Oh, Marisa. ...Couldn't you used the entrance?
Marisa
I've made you a new entrance! How could you complain about that?! You're always like this, Patchouli! Anyway, here's this fat guy. He collapsed. ...Wasn't my fault.
Patchouli
...Ah yes. ...First, you should lie him down on a bed.
*Reimu notices the Marisa colored bed next to Patchouli's and stares at her*
Marisa
Uh Reimu. Something's suspicious, But I'm not sure what's fishy, exactly.
*Reimu glares at Marisa*
Marisa
No, I'm sure Patchouli's fine. She's a magician too, so I know her. So...maybe the person I'm thinking of is you, ze!
*Reimu gives a exasperated look*
Marisa
...Uh...
*Looks at Patchouli desperately*
Patchouli!
*Uses eyes to beg for backup*
Patchouli
...Marisa, there is nothing wrong with me saying to use my bed.
*Marisa glares at Patchouli, (clearly that wasn't the backup she wanted)*
Just accept it.
*Marisa gives one of those "We're going to have a long talk about this later" looks*
Marisa
... I guess there's no explanation Anyway!
*Tries to change subject*
Now to do something for this guy!
Patchouli
...Yes,yes...
*Marisa Tosses fat guy on bed*
Marisa
How's that?
Patchouli
Doesn't he still look rather uncomfortable? Whatever, we'll leave him until he wakes up.
Marisa
What? Look, you can't just push me around. I'm not giving out favors.
Patchouli
You'd really say that?
Marisa
Would I lie, ze?
Patchouli
Well I have some drinks. Want anything? I believe I have a Big City Cola.
Marisa
...N-No, we can just relax here...
Patchouli
Well...
*Gives hurt puppy dog look to Marisa*
*Walks slowly away while Marisa squirms uneasily*
Marisa
I... I get it... I'll try not to be too annoying, ze.
Patchouli
...Hm.
*Marisa and Patchouli sit on sofa*
Patchouli
Right then, Reimu. Can you go check on Remmy for me? I'm really worried about her.
Marisa
Why's that?
Patchouli
I haven't seen her lately. It might not be anything serious, but... I'm still worried about her.
Marisa
I guess I understand.
(Editor's note)
For those not with it, Marisa and Patchouli aren't REALLY going to drink Big City Cola. It's a excuse for Marisa to sit with Patchouli, and to get some "alone time", Patchouli sends Reimu away to find Remilia who they both know is ok...)
*Reimu reaches for the door*
*Remilia bursts through door*
Remilia
Help me, Patchouliiiiiiiiii
(Editor's Post-Note)
...Annnd, much to everyone's surprise(and Patchy's displeasure), it turned out to be an utter coincidence that something is wrong!
Sakuya?
Kukuku....What's wrong mistress? It's too soon for playtime to be over. Get back to your room and study! I'm always here to be of service
Remilia
Ahhhhh...!
Marisa
Who is that... And what's with her ugly face?
Patchouli
It's Sakuya. The mask was there yesterday. ...I'm not sure who put it on.
*Remilia cowers behind Reimu*
Remilia
Reimu!... Listen to me! Please... help!
Sakuya?
Hoho, mistress. How unfitting of you to beg. Aren't you suppose to be a vampire?
Remilia
But...well...
Sakuya
Reeeiiimuuu... Do you feel this maid girl is in your way?
If Reimu says no
Remilia
Reimuuu....
*Are you stone-heartedly denying Remilia's request?*
*Insert here if you said no again*
*If Reimu said yes*
Sakuya?
Hoho, such bravery.
*Sakuya stopped listening*
Marisa
Patchouli. What do you think we should do?
*Not paying attention to currant situation*
Patchouli
Hm... use whatever method you like.
Marisa
Oh, to return her to normal?
*regains compusure*
Yeah, guess we should deal with her now.
Patchouli
I'll try to assist Sakuya is always being rude on the job.
*VS Masked Maid Girl*
*Defeated Masked Maid Girl*
Sakuya
...
Marisa
Is that it?
Sakuya
...Mistress?...H-Huh...?
Remilia
Sakuya...
Sakuya
M-Mistress. What has happened?
*Approaches Sakuya*
Remilia
Sakuya! Can't you remember what you've been doing?!
Sakuya
...I-I'm sorry.I don't have any excuse. All of those memories are unclear...
Marisa
Well, that's fine. We beat you up, and you were stronger than usual. ...But not strong enough, of course.
*Turns to Patchouli*
Marisa
So, what's this worth? At least one book, right?
Patchouli
... ...Will you accept my diary?
Marisa
... ...Well,ok, ze.
*Received Dream Diary*
Remilia
...Sakuya, I'm glad you returned to normal. Now hurry up and get back to fixing up the Scarlet Devil Mansion!
Sakuya
Understood! Just me?
Remilia
Hah! You don't work for humans you know!
*Sakuya and Remilia leave*
Marisa
But what on earth is this mask?
Oh hey. It fixed itself, ze.
Patchouli
Fixed itself?! Toss it! Who needs that?!
Marisa
Fine! Take it!
*Shoves mask into Patchouli's face*
Patchouli Kyaaa...!
*A sound flows from the Mask and Reimu memorizes it.*
*Mask is in pieces*
Patchouli
...I wonder what that sound was?
Marisa
...Huh... hm Somehow, it makes me nostalgic... like it's something I've heard before, but...
*Fatty wakes up*
Fatty
Uhhh...
Marisa
...Oh. You're conscious?
Fatty
...You're...?
Marisa
I'm Miss Marisa. I'm the hero,ze.
*Reimu glares at her*
Or heroine, I suppose.
*Reimu shakes her head, angered her message didn't get across.*
Patchouli
You should give her your thanks. If Marisa didn't help you, you would have been Youkai bait.
Fatty
...Thank you
Marisa
So, you got that? Eh,whatever.
Who're you?
Fatonymous
...I don't know.
Marisa
...You don't know? *Looks at Name Text* That's not even funny. At least come up with something creative.
Fatty
...I'm not lying... I don't... remember anything. ...Including my name.
Marisa
Then you've lost your memories? Like I haven't seen that a hundred times in Touhou fangames...
Patchouli
What are you talking about?
Marisa
Oh,it's nothing important. ...So you really can't remember a thing?
Fatonymous
...Right
Marisa
Nothing in your pockets or anything, is there?
Fatonymous
...There's a piece of paper here. ...It says "Porky."
Marisa
Then from now on, we'll call you Porky. Is that fine?
Porky
...Yes.
Marisa
Right then, Porky. I'm probably wrong, but do you remember hearing this melody?
*Melody Plays*
Porky
...I don't.
Marisa
So you haven't... ...Okay. Reimu, I think Yukari might know something about this. ...We might as well try,ze. Perhaps Yukari will prove herself as a sage for once.
Patchouli
Sounds fun.
Marisa
Say, you've got time now, right? It shouldn't be boring as this place,ze.
So, you wanna come to?
Patchouli
...It's may not be so great here, but I'll restrain myself.
*Suddenly looks serious*
...Marisa. It seems it could be serious... I have a bad feeling. So take this.
*Recives Magic Ribbon*
It's my magic charm. It might help you a little.
Marisa
Ah,Patchouli. Thanks!
Patchouli
If Yukari tells you anything important, report back to me as well. Porky is a human from the outside world. So I wonder how he got here.
Marisa
So he's an alien, but not the Eirin kind...! Okay, let's go, Reimu,!
*At Yukari's House*